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Paperback
$16.99
Pre-orders through IngramSpark. On Amazon from January 19.
Pre-order the paperback
Pre-order begins November 1Releases January 19, 2027
It’s time for a
We use the same word for the person we see at the coffee shop and the person we’d call at 2am from the side of the road.
We need a language and a map to help us know the difference.
Let’s end this loneliness epidemic.
Pre-order the paperback through IngramSpark. Kindle on Amazon.
Ellen Long, Friendship Revolution
01The problem
The time of “almost” is over.
Almost known. Almost chosen. Almost loved.
It’s not like you’re friendless. Your calendar is probably full and your camera roll even fuller. And if someone looked at your life, they would see dinner parties and laughter, travel and adventures, and assume a life well lived.
Somewhere out there is a person who once knew everything about you, and now barely knows the city you live in.
Friend.
One word. We use it for the person we wave to and the person who would drive four hours at midnight. We mistake proximity for intimacy, history for trust, and chemistry for commitment.
What if the problem was never friendship? What if we have just never had the language for it?
“I learned friendship in the wild, because I needed it first.”
Ellen Long is a keynote speaker and the author of Take the Elevator and The Friendship Letters. She advises eight and nine figure entrepreneurs. She lives in Phoenix.
Ellen writes The Friendship Letters on Substack. Get them in your inbox.
Roughly weekly. Unsubscribe anytime.
Take a look at your life
Who are your people?
Who do you call when everything falls apart?
Who do you look for when everything goes right?
Who knows the person behind your accomplishments?
And are you showing up for them, too?
You don’t need more names in your phone. You need to understand the relationships behind them.
02The map
Every friendship you have is on one of five levels.
Most of us have never had the words for it.
“I look for you when I’m there.”
“Let’s go do something together!”
“I think you could become one of my people.”
“You are one of my people.”
“I know you, and I love you more for it.”
The goal is not to make everyone a Life Friend. It is to know who belongs where, what each friendship can hold, and which ones you want to take further.
Pre-order the bookFriendship is two people, looking at each other and saying,
Take away any one of the three, and you can see exactly what happens.
Level 03The Bridge
Level 3 is where your life gets decided.
“Level 3 is the most consequential level on the entire map: not because it is the deepest, but because this is where you choose the people who will shape the direction of your life. Everyone who becomes a Level 4 or 5 friend was once a Level 3 decision.”
What you walk away with.
Not another set of friendship rules. A language, a map, and a way to see the people already in your life more clearly.
Understand where you stand.
Why friendships sit at different depths, and what is reasonable to expect at each one.
Know who you can actually trust.
The difference between familiarity and trust, and why it only shows up when things get hard.
See which friendships are worth deepening.
What crossing the Bridge takes, and when not to.
Become someone who stays.
Friendship as a daily practice of liking, trusting and choosing each other.
“I’ve spent my entire life walking into all kinds of rooms. I’ve been in palatial houses with marble floors and one-room homes built on dirt. I’ve stood in million-dollar boardrooms and cement prison cells. I’ve been in substance abuse meetings where people say the truest things and black-tie dinners where nothing real is said at all. I’ve sat in houses full of teenagers at 3 a.m. and tables full of millionaires on yachts. I’ve been in women’s circles and men’s masterminds, and ER beds in war-torn countries. And in every single one, I have found the same thing.”
For podcasts and stages
Booking Ellen
Ellen is booking podcasts and stages. She talks about why friendship stopped working, the five levels, and the friendship you keep thinking about at 3am.
Watch Ellen speak: her TEDx talk
Request Ellen
Ready to join the revolution?
Kindle
$9.69
Delivered automatically on January 19.
Pre-order on AmazonHardcover and audiobook coming in 2027.
Questions
Before you order.
When will my paperback ship?
Pre-orders are placed through IngramSpark and ship for the release on January 19, 2027. From that day the paperback is on Amazon too.
What is the difference between the paperback and Kindle?
The paperback is $16.99: pre-order it through IngramSpark, or buy it on Amazon from January 19. The Kindle edition is $9.69 on Amazon. Delivered automatically on January 19. Hardcover and audiobook coming in 2027.
Do you ship outside the US?
Yes. The paperback is distributed internationally, so readers outside the US can order it too.
Can Ellen come on my podcast or speak at my event?
Yes. She is booking podcasts and stages. Request Ellen
How do I get Ellen’s letters on friendship?
Join The Friendship Letters, her newsletter on Substack. Letters arrive roughly weekly, and you can unsubscribe anytime. Join the Revolution
The revolution begins with two.
“The Friendship Revolution does not begin with millions of people. It begins with two.”
Ellen’s letters on friendship, roughly weekly. Unsubscribe anytime.
The world has enough followers.It needs more friends.
Two people who like each other. Trust each other. Choose each other. And decide to stay.
Pre-order Friendship RevolutionCome sit down. We’ve saved you a seat at the table.